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Are Your Kids Stressing You Out?
Do you remember the first time you
saw your first-born child? Were you amazed at her eyes, or
mesmerized by the perfection of his hands. You might have
dutifully recorded that first smile, the first laugh, the
first steps, the first dance. Your son or daughter became the
most important person in your life. When that little child
came into your world, you knew that your life had changed
forever.
There is nothing quite like the joy of
parenthood. It can lift your spirits on the most miserable
day. It gives you a reason to rise in the morning, and a good
excuse for blowing bubbles, catching fireflies, or gazing at a
fireworks display. When you give your child a hug at night,
you know that all is right with the universe.
However,
parenthood can also become quite stressful due to
the many demands on your time, and the many commitments you’re
required to fulfill. Your responsibilities can leave
you feeling anxious and frustrated especially if your child is
sick, or is having trouble in school, or has become involved
in drug or alcohol abuse. During these times, your stress
level can rise to the max.
Unfortunately, there isn’t
much you can do to eliminate the stressors associated with
parenthood — they simply come with the territory. While you
can guide your child, you can’t expect to control him or her,
particularly when your child reaches their teenage years.
Therefore, you have to learn to somehow manage the stress of
parenthood before it gets the better of you.
The most
important strategy you can adopt is doing your very best to
keep the communication going between yourself and your child,
even when it becomes difficult. Your stress level will
be greatly reduced if you can talk with your child, especially
when something is bothering him or her. It’s always
important for your child to know that your love is
unconditional, and that he or she can turn to you at any time.
Strengthening the bond of trust between the two of you can do
a great deal to eliminate your stress.
Another
stress-reducing tactic is to set aside time to spend with your
child besides helping him or her with homework. This is
particularly important if you have more than one child. You
need fun time with your child to let him or her know you care.
Plan for an afternoon of roller skating or an evening playing
checkers. You'll discover that these relaxing activities can
help to alleviate your stress.
It’s important
that you build into your day a break in the action.
Have your husband or wife watch the children for ten minutes
or so while you re-group. This is particularly critical if you
find yourself under so much stress, you’re about to lose your
temper. Give yourself a timeout — and watch your stress level
drop considerably.
For a single parent there is an
additional burden of stress because theirs is a difficult lot
and the pressures can be intense. That’s why it’s so
critically important for single parents to strengthen their
support systems. They need to have a parent, brother or sister
or friend they can rely on when the stress of parenting
becomes overwhelming.
Just having someone to talk to
can be a tremendous stress-reliever. In other cases, a single
parent might need someone to watch his or her children for the
night so the parent can re-group. Asking for help isn’t a sign
of weakness, it actually indicates great emotional strength.
If you find yourself falling apart, don't wait for a
crisis to get some assistance. If you turn to others
for support, you’ll find that your family unit will only grow
stronger.
Parenting is probably the single greatest
responsibility a person will ever have. As a result, there’s a
huge amount of stress involved. Recognizing this is an
important part of the parenting process. Once you’re
attuned to stress — and its causes — you’re more likely to be
able to manage it well. It’s important also for you
to recognize that stress management is an on-going process —
it’s not something that happens overnight. However, with time
and patience, you can become a first-rate stress
manager.
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